From the Diary of a Soldier...!!!

DAY 31

I woke up at around 1730hrs. It was cloudy outside but no snowfall. The V-sat line was out so I decided to go to the next post and speak to my love on satellite phone. Oh Naina,,, I love her so much & miss her like anything. Missing her reminds me how lucky I'm that I've someone to miss. All I want is to hear her voice at least once a day but I am not lucky everyday and like me there are around a dozen men with me who too wait for their turn just to hear the voice of their loved ones. Even on the luckiest day I have to try her number at least a hundred times just to hear her once but these few minutes serve as a tonic and helps me to sail through the long, lonely & monotonous day. 

            This was one of those luckiest days when I was able to hear my love after walking about three kilometers in 35 feet of snow at an altitude of about 18000 feet above sea level in -50 degree Celsius. You see absence doesn't always make heart grow fonder,,, sometimes it makes you go mad too..!! 
Naina told me that she was proud of me for what I was doing & I was on cloud nine. She told me she was missing me & that she loved me a lot & she was counting days. I wanted to tell her that I too want to come to her, to see her, to hug her, right then & there but somehow I controlled myself, it’s still a long time to go back and I have to be strong. We called it a good night and I came back to my post.

            When I came back, the line was still out, so I decided to fix it myself with the help of my boys. By 2015hrs, we had fixed the line but the knife which I used for fixing it was missing. I couldn’t afford to miss it. At this point, I could relate myself with Chuck(Tom Hanks) of “Cast away” movie. The knife was like “Mr Wilson” to me, my only companion  in this isolated post.  It was gifted to me by my love (owing to the peculiar love that I have for all kind of weapons). I had a strange connection with my knife, it gave me a feeling that my love was with me.

            I got really upset & frantically I started searching for the knife. I told everybody to leave. The sky was clear now & it was a full moon night. Whenever the weather is clear and moon is there, this place shines like silver, all covered with snow. But today,even with full moon, the luck wasn't on my side, I couldn’t see the knife anywhere. I searched for it inside the snow with my bare hands,  still couldn’t find it.

            After about half an hour one NCO with 12 boys came to me saying that they will help me to find the knife. I told him to go back & that I will find it myself but he disobeyed my order saying that "Saab aapka chaku nhi, hamara bhi hai, Hum dhoond k hi rahenge". I wondered how they knew what it meant to me and  instead of being angry on him for disobeying me, I felt so good about it. People say that we are a family here, the typical army values  and now I can actually relate to it. We started searching together & by God’s grace we found it and I was the happiest person in the world & so was my team.

            Life at different points teaches us different lessons. Bravery is not all about fighting enemies but also not to give up whatever the circumstances be.
 Not only I realized how much I love Naina but also how strong we all are bonded here at the post, where everything freezes but warmth of love keeps everyone alive.

At 2200hrs, I came back to my FRP & called Naina & told her everything and ofcourse how much I love her…!!!

            

Love just happens..!!!!

"Is it a dream?"

"May be"

"Tell na?" Its too beautiful to be real."

"Hmmmm"

"Tell na?"

"Hmmmm"


Lying in under the stars,,she kept asking & he kept Hmm-ing.

Everything seems to be beautiful when you are in love or when you just fall in love & so was the case with Naina & Abhay.

 Everything about love is beautiful & when you are with your someone special everything falls in place..........(to be continued)

First date....!!!!!

“Is it a date?”

“We will decide after meeting”

“No it’s a date”

“It’ll be very weird, we won’t talk & you’ll agree to that later”

“Doesn’t matter if you look half as pretty as you look in the pic”

“Okay,,sleep now,,,,see you tomorrow,,,good night”

“Good night”

The conversation ended but mere saying good night doesn’t guarantee a good night sleep and same was the case with Bhoomi & Aditya. It was a sleepless night for both of them,,,,so much was going on in their minds that if there would have been a device to measure that brain activity that would have exploded for sure.

To Aditya, Bhoomi seemed to be uninterested or she was pretending to be uninterested or she was scared but he was all excited about this meeting or date whatever it was going to be. And Bhoomi didn’t know how to react,,,to be happy,,,excited or nervous.

But one thing was sure,,,,they were both looking forward to meet each other ,,,,and the biggest reason was,,,,they had waited for a long time,,,,,,,,,,,waited for FIVE LONG YEARS.

Five years back when Bhoomi received a message on her cell,,she didn’t know what that message will lead to. It has been the times when everyone was a mobile freak,,,texting was in. Bhoomi had created a dating profile just for fun & the same day she got a message because of that dating profile she had created & since it was the first message she received so she accepted that.

Aditya,,too,,,had created a profile and through that profile he had approached many but only one replied.

Destiny played its part.

They started exchanging messages,,,,hell lot of messages,,,,discussing everything under this sky,,,,school,,,hobbies,,,interests,,,,favorites,,,,food,,,,everything and it became a routine. Then they started calling & it became a routine too. But when you are 18,,,,your interests keep on changing & you get fed up of things a way too easily so that was it,,,school ended & with it other things too.

New college,,,,,new friends and new excitement. Both of them got involved in their college lives totally forgetting about each other,,,,until the day when Bhoomi heard the name of his school from one of her classmates. And all of a sudden she remembered him again,,,the same evening she called up Aditya,,,and it started again,,, messages,, calls,,,some spice in life again.

But at 19,,,,old spices can’t attract your taste buds for long,,,it ended again.

No new spice,,,old college,,,,nothing exciting,,,,then came a brand new spice,,,, THE ORKUT.

New profiles,,,loaded with hell lot of cool information,,,,cool pics,,,,& cool everything.

Texting out,,,,orkuting in.

Again Bhoomi’s brain cells got activated when she saw Aditya’s orkut profile,,,,and with that started exchanging of scraps. It continued for a while but then at 20 also,,,,you don’t stick to one thing for that long.

Same old college,,,same old friends,,,same old books but then came a new book,,,,THE FACEBOOK.

New profiles,,,,new excitement,,,new life.

Aditya saw Bhoomi’s profile,,,this time,,,his brain calls got activated,,,and again “Hi-Hello” and things started.

21,,,,no no,,,no new excitement at 21,,,,at 21,,,,you start looking for peace of mind,,,,stability,,,these things no longer attracts you.

And that’s what was going with Bhoomi & Aditya. They needed some answers,,,,for the questions that were bothering them. They had known each other for the past 3 year but that was just a superficial kind of thing,,,now they started finding something common in them,,,they actually started having this philosophical discourse,,,started finding peace in these discussions,,,,started sharing their problems,,,,actually started understanding each other.

They had been together for 3 years but they were never this close. Something was different,,,something was changing.

Every little thing Bhoomi would tell Aditya & Aditya would listen to all the silly,,stupid & serious stuff she had to tell. Bhoomi became addicted to him and she knew it was now more than just a simple friendship. Though she was not sure about her feelings,,,,how could she be sure when she hadn’t met that guy in the first place,,,but still she told him about her feelings. Deep down,,,she was sure that he also liked her but when she told him,,,his response was not like anything she wanted to hear. He said he didn’t feel anything for her. Bhoomi thought she was being stupid,,,how could she have feelings for a guy whom she had never met and same was applicable to him also? One more chapter ended,,,their ways parted,,,,old everything but now she started loving the things around,,,,no new search for excitement,,,,as now she had a much awaited stable peaceful life.

Bhoomi got busy with her life,,,friends entering her life,,,friends leaving her life,,,,some crushes,,,some likings,,,some new purposals,,,but the search for excitement had ended a long ago,,,now all she was experiencing was a stable contended life.

But as they say,,,somethings never end…….!!!!!!!

22,,,,at 22 you start feeling that you have become matured,,,you start analyzing your life,,,things you have gained,,,things you have lost.

At 22 when Bhoomi was happy & contended with life,,,Aditya felt differently. Something missing in his life,,, ,,,something that was always there but somehow he lost it.

He discovered a new part of him,,,that was never there,,,,a part that longed for Bhoomi,,,,a part that missed Bhoomi,,,,a part that loved Bhoomi but there was other part too,,,a part that kept reminding him how could he love someone he had never met?

Aditya was not sure to disclose his feelings but atleast,,,he could start the friendship again.

One more message.

The first message that he sent five years back had no meaning to Bhoomi but this message carried new hopes,,,new dreams,,,,,,,, but she was scared,,,,scared of these hopes,,,these dreams. Things started again and then came the day of their fifth anniversary,,,fifth anniversary of an undefined relationship. Five long years,,,,,and they planned to meet.

A sleepless night &yet so many dreams.

The excitement that had vanished from their lives emerged again.

Their first meeting,,,first meeting after five years,,,,first meeting even though they lived in state,,,hence a very special day.

Bhoomi,,who never actually cared about her looks & dress,,,was confused what to wear,,,and same was with Aditya,,,, nervousness,,,excitement,,,,and thousand different undefined emotions they were experiencing.

A beautiful day & lots of hopes.

“Get two band-aids”

“You are late,,,by the way,,,why you need bandaids?”

“I’ll be there in 15 minutes,,,I’ll tell you then”

“okay,,,,I’m waiting”

Aditya was waiting outside the mall,,,,when he saw,,,,a girl totally wrapped in pink approaching him.

Bhoomi was walking towards the mall,,,when she saw a guy on a bike gazing her.

(In thoughts)

He’s exactly like he looks in pics,,,,but why isn’t he smiling,,,oh god,,,he seems to be very serious kind of person in reality

She’s as pretty as she looks in pics,,,,should I say hello first?

(In reality)

“hi,,how are you?”

No reponse

“You got band aids?”

“yes”

“Ok I’ll be waiting for you inside come”

(Few minutes later)

“Why band aids?”

“I fell and injured my knee”

“Fine now?”

“fine”

“so?”

“so?”

“say something”

“well,,,that’s what I always do,,,now it’s your turn”

“yeah,,,that’s what you do always,,,so do that now also”

How can he expect me to talk when his voice is driving me crazy,,his voice is charming,,,more than it sounded on phone,,,,,I’m falling in love or wait I’m in love

Her eyes are so mesmerizing & so is her smile. Yes I’m in love

“Five long years & we met”

“ya five long years”

“I want to tell you something,,,,ummmm,,,,,should have told you before,,,,,,I wasn’t sure then,,,but now I’m”

“hmmm”

“Actually,,,,,I ,,,,I,,,,,I love you,,,,I really do.”

She didn't responded but tears started rolling down her cheeks & he got the reply.

Time rather pasts quickly when you are actually enjoying it.

They continued talking for hours until they realized that it was time to go.

So much in their eyes,,,,so much in their hearts,,,,so much they had to tell but all they said was

“bye”

And it ended,,,,,,wait,,,, it started actually ….. :P

Another love letter

It was morning time & the local buses were crowded with school children, college students, working persons & other sort of people so Bhavana wasn’t left with any option rather than to wait.

Bhavana was really late. She tried really hard not to be late as it was her reunion & after one year she was going to meet all her friends. Her mind was occupied with the memories of her college life, her first day in college, ragging, new friends, exam days, the farewell party & gallons of tears they shed that day, everything was fresh in her mind. The horn of the bus brought her back from her memories. It was a crowded bus but she didn’t want to be late anymore so she got into it. There was a little space where she could stand but by holding her breath. Few people left the bus & now she could breathe. Just then someone pulled her bag; she looked down & found a guy offering her seat. She felt that she had seen that guy before but wasn’t able to recall where & when. She grabbed his books, took the seat & started looking out of the window. The bus passed her school & now the memories drifted from her college life to her school life.

She was a real shy, innocent & simple girl in school days. There were not many interesting things about her school life except one incident that really changed her life.

Bhavana was promoted to 11^th standard. Life was more or less same for her. Her close friends were still in the same school while a majority of her classmates had left. There were many new admissions in her class. A lot was going around. Many old friendships were broken & many new were formed but she still retained her old friends without any new additions. Just a few girls were in her friend circle as she was too shy to talk to guys. She wasn’t too excited about her life nor was she sad about it. Life was going steadily for her until she found that letter.

There wasn’t much work in school so Bhavana was free at home. She didn’t even bother to open her bag. It was a pending assignment that made her to open her bag. As she was taking books out her bag, she found a letter. She opened it & went red after finishing it. Her heart started pounding so fast as if it would just pop out of her body. The letter read:

“Bhavana, the very first day I saw you, I fell in love with you. Your simplicity, your innocence, your charm is just so irresistible. You have made me crazy. I keep thinking about you all the time. There are a hundred things I wanna tell you but I don’t have words to express myself.

I can’t even wish to get you as I’m still unsure if you are a dream or reality but one thing I’m sure about that I love you, I really do”

Bhavana wasn’t super stunning or anything like that but with her beautiful eyes & long hair, she managed to look simply beautiful. She didn’t know but many were charmed by her gracious simplicity & impeccable innocence.

This was the first time Bhavana had received a love letter. She was scared. She didn’t know what to do with it. What if someone finds it? So she tore it into pieces. The whole night she kept on wondering who that guy could be. She couldn’t even guess but one thing was sure, that the guy was one of the new admissions.

The next day she started her investigation but she couldn’t ask anyone directly. She kept observing newly arrived guys but found nobody staring her. She kept her investigation going for few more days but still no clue. She thought maybe it was just a prank. She waited for few days for the prankster to come before but nobody came. Finally she gave up.

Life again went steady for her. She went busy with studies. She was quite intelligent, one of the toppers. Many came to her for help & she helped them happily. One day, a guy called Akshay came to her & asked to lend her notebook to him & she gave.

Akshay was one of the new comers. He was a smart, sporty, spontaneous & friendly guy but at the same time too practical & focused.

Akshay started taking Bhavana’s help in studies. They started exchanging notes & gradually became friends. Now Akshay became the only guy in class with whom Bhavana talked. Rumors spread about them which fell on Bhavana’s ears also so she stopped talking to him.

Akshay asked for her notebooks many times but Bhavana refused to give every single time. It wasn’t that easy for her, after all they were good friends. So finally she started talking to him & gave her notebook to him. When he returned the notebook, Bhavana found a note in it. It read:

“I’m really sorry. I don’t know why you were annoyed with me. I never wanted to hurt you. I’m sorry if I hurt you in anyway.”

She felt Akshay could be that guy. There was a similarity between his handwriting & the one that was on that love letter. She never observed it before & now she didn’t have that love letter with which she could compare. Her mind was clouded with strange thoughts.

Should I stop talking to him? What if he really loves me? What should I do now?

She thought a lot but finally decided that she would continue talking to him after all you can’t stop anyone to love you & he was a nice guy. Though they were good friends but she never dared to ask him about that love letter. She just hoped that one day Akshay would tell himself. They talked a lot about their likings, disliking, career & other stuff but the topic of letter never came up & never did Akshay gave her a hint that he loved her.

In the hearts of hearts, Bhavana was very happy, she was in seventh heaven. Being in love is amazing but being loved by someone is even more amazing.

The school was about to end. It was their farewell. Bhavana was hoping that Akshay would tell her about that letter now. Finally he would confess that he loved her & then she could tell that she loved him equally.

Akshay came to her & said,

“Bhavana, I never thought I could get such a wonderful friend like you. I’m really thankful to you for helping me in studies. I’m thankful to you for the wonderful time we shared together. I just wanna wish you a great life ahead. Take care.”

Bhavana waited for the topic of the letter to come up but it didn’t. She decided to ask herself but something stopped her.

That night she wept to her heart’s content. She tore that note of Akshay which she had kept under her pillow for the past one & a half year. They joined different colleges & never met again.

Bhavana made new friends in college. She was also purposed by some guys but Akshay had paralysed a part of her heart & she never felt that way for anyone again. Her college ended & her parents started searching for a suitable match for her. Finally her parents selected a guy for him & she was going to get married in the next two months.

Bhavana was completely lost thinking about her past, present & future when she gained her conscious by hearing her name. “Bhavana, I’ve to go. Please give me my books.”

Bhavana was astonished. How that guy knew her name? She wanted to ask but she was still so lost that she handled him books without asking anything. A page from the books fell down. Bhavana turned to give it back to him but he refused to take it saying, “It is yours.” She simply put that in her bag without noticing that she wasn’t carrying anything with her except a bag so that page couldn’t belong to her.

She reached her college; all her friends were waiting for her. Girls were asking her about her fiancée, guys were telling her how lucky her fiancée was. They talked & talked until it was really late & she came back home.

At night when she was taking cards (which her friends gave her) out of her bag, she found the page that was given to her by the guy who offered her seat in the bus. It was a letter actually. After reading the letter she couldn’t hold back her tears.

It read:

“Bhavana, when I saw you entering the bus I couldn’t help remembering all those moments I was madly in love with you. I wish I could have told you then but I couldn’t bring myself to do that. So I put a letter in your bag. Yes, I was the guy who did that. I still don’t know if you found that. I guess telling you this won't make any difference now. I just want you to be happy wherever you’ll be because once I was deeply in love with you. Yes I loved you and…………………………………. I still do!!!!!!!!!!

Kavish”